Hello, everyone! Have you ever started watching a movie and had to pause for a few moments and really wonder “how did I get here?” That’s how I felt watching the spectacularly ridiculous Vampire Academy, a movie made for fourteen year olds that is too sarcastic, too racy, and too complicated for any fourteen year old to want to watch it. I arrived at Vampire Academy by the way of the 2013 remake of Evil Dead. It was midnight, I was tired, and Evil Dead was making me queasy. Thus, I decided to watch Vampire Academy and spent the next 104 minutes in various states of disbelief and annoyance. The main question that kept popping through my head: “How did this get made?”
Hello, everyone! I just want to start by saying I’m basically a prophet. Today Mashable had a whole article decrying Batman vs. Superman for giving Gal Gadot only seven minutes of screen time in a movie that’s two and a half hours long. I said her role was pandering three days ago, and I haven’t even seen the movie! As the next Prophet of Delphi, I’ll be accepting gifts of olive oil and grape leaves at my cave for the next few days. Now, to more worthy matters.
Hello, all! Yesterday I had a weird desire to watch not one, but two versions of V.C Andrew’s teen classic Flowers in the Attic. They were the trashiest, funniest movies I’ve seen in quite a while, so I think it was three hours very well spent.
Hello, all! This post brought to you by the Cheetah Girls because why the hell not! I’m listening to that soundtrack at this very moment and I can tell you I am not disappointed.
In honor of Halloween, I’d like to review a wonderful little film called Orphan. This is a bit of a throwback but I watched it for the first time yesterday and boy is it one of the strangest films I have seen in a while. What are the chances of seeing Peter Saarsgard and Clove from the Hunger Games in a movie together? 24 hours ago, I would have said the odds were pretty damn slim. Now, everything has changed.
My school’s summer reading is chosen by the students, which means that I’m inevitably forced to read dystopian YA fiction, instead of, I don’t know, quality writing. Two years ago, the populace decided on Divergent, which I abandoned in favor of the Wikipedia article and Shailene Woodley, and last year we were supposed to read Between Shades Of Gray, which didn’t seem too bad, but I’d rather spend my valuable reading time on books of my own choosing. This summer’s read is Unwind, a (you guessed it) dystopian YA novel by Neal Shusterman. Prepare to be barraged with confusion… Continue reading Suspend Your Disbelief #1: Unwind by Neal Shusterman→