Hello, all! I’ve been so wrapped up in Christmas that I barely had time to watch more than four movies! I saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens yesterday and while I thought it was really awesome, I don’t feel that I have the proper authority to write a post about the film. So instead, I’ll write about what I do know, and that is horror movies! I do apologize, this blog has really turned into something of a horror fest. But anyways, one of the other four movies I watched on Christmas was Goodnight Mommy and boy, was that something. Here’s the trailer, if you’re unacquainted:
Hello, all! Today I watched a lovely movie called The Hills Have Eyes, and while it didn’t inspire me to write an entire post about the movie, it did lead me to another subject: babies. They feature pretty heavily in horror movies and more often than not are the subject of the scares. The entire opening sequence of American Horror Story: Murder House is dead babies. Ghostly baby dolls, demon babies, eraserhead babies (they deserve a category all their own), you name it, and some baby has done it.
But babies can also play a different role in horror movies, the role of the innocent.
Hello, all! Sorry I’ve been so lax on posting lately, but now that my school is on break, I’ll try to post at least every other day. Lately my pop culture diet has consisted of items I’ve already read, seen, or listened to. You know the deal when you’re too tired to put the emotional energy into watching a new movie or opening a new book? That’s been me for the past month. But now I’m ready to spend the next two weeks taking in every new thing I possibly can. I’m reading Middlemarch, gonna go see Macbeth on Monday, and today I watched something completely new for me: a found footage horror movie I actually…(wait for it) liked.
Hello, all! This post brought to you by “I Know What You Did Last Summer,” a very catchy song that happens to share a title with a horrifying childrens book. I have so many things to say about how that book made me fear Lois Duncan, but I think I’ll save that for another post. The music video for this song is so dramatic that I have to post it.
Hello, all! Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted, but I’ve been quite busy with school and college applications and boring things like that. Unfortunately (or very fortunately depending on how little you like the show), I’ve fallen very far behind on American Horror Story: Hotel reviews so I’m still considering whether I’ll pick that up again. Continue reading The Exorcist: Actually Not That Scary→
Hello, all! This post brought to you by the SAT. The SAT, where math questions range from what is the sum of 2x + 6 to if Juan has two bags of rice with a ratio of 5:6 for price and 5:8 for weight, what is the ratio of price per ounce? Hint: it’s not racist if it’s a standardized test. I guess my mind didn’t explode after taking the test (for the second bleeping time) because I’m here writing to you right now, but the test did make me think about media. Bad media, in particularly, and what makes media so bad? It can be many different things (Adam Driver, for one), but today I’m going to focus on one problem in particular: stupid ass tropes.
Hello, all! This post brought to you by the Cheetah Girls because why the hell not! I’m listening to that soundtrack at this very moment and I can tell you I am not disappointed.
In honor of Halloween, I’d like to review a wonderful little film called Orphan. This is a bit of a throwback but I watched it for the first time yesterday and boy is it one of the strangest films I have seen in a while. What are the chances of seeing Peter Saarsgard and Clove from the Hunger Games in a movie together? 24 hours ago, I would have said the odds were pretty damn slim. Now, everything has changed.
Hello, all! This post brought to you by Michael Nyman and his supposedly “simple” piano music. Why did you throw in 3/8 meter when 4/4 was doing just fine?
Today I watched Madame Bovary, and despite the middling Rotten Tomato reviews, I was quite impressed. I’ve never read Gustave Flaubert’s book, so I can’t compare it to the text, but I understand from the reviews that it diverges from the plot in some significant ways. That being said, I’m going to review this movie as if Flaubert’s book had never been written, therefore reducing the chances of me sounding like an uncultured swine. I get it, Flaubert’s novel is a masterpiece and the movie didn’t do it justice, but sometimes we must forget our expectations and enjoy movies for what they are: visual mediums. Stream of consciousness and fluctuating point-of-views work for novels, but they don’t work very well for movies. Continue reading Review of Madame Bovary: All I want is everything!→
Hello all! This post brought to you by the color black. To all the black holes that will eventually consume the universe, I offer my greetings. Earth might taste a little greasy on the first bite, but I’m sure you’ll find our molten core to be delicious. Today I’m reviewing The Women in Black 2: Angel of Death, or as it should really be called The Women in Black 2: This British Girl is NOT Daniel Radcliffe. At first viewing I thought “Surely Daniel will be appearing any moment now.” But he never did, and thus this film could never be more than mediocre. Now when I reflect upon it, I’m glad Daniel Radcliffe wasn’t in the movie. All of the children would have been like “HARRY POTTER!” and that would have been distracting for the Woman in Black. Rocking back and forth in a ghostly manner takes a lot of focus. Continue reading The Woman in Black 2: What about the CHILDREN?→
Hello all! This post brought to you by Kevin Bacon. Remember folks, it ain’t a Boston movie without Bacon. Yesterday I watched Black Mass, the movie that will reinvent Johnny Depp’s career. But actually, if you skip over all of the stupid projects that I assume Depp did for the money, you’re left with Edward Scissorhands and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and Sweeney Todd and Chocolat and various other Tim Burton weirdlands, so it’s actually quite an impressive resume. If you pretend Mortdechai never happened, I will too. Continue reading Black Mass Review: Gangstas Be Trippin’→